After all these years, I have come to conclude that I can't fill the void left in my heart.
Paul said in 2 Corinthians 12:7
...there was given to me a thorn in my flesh...
My thorn keeps me close to the Lord's side. I have prayed and pleaded to be relieved of this thorn, but as God told Paul...
...My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness...
2 Corinthians 12:9
So may I be weak for the rest of His story for my life so that his perfect will can be complete until that day- that day when I am reunited with the child I long to meet.
Years later, we decided to do foster care to help those children that needed someone to help them out in life. The seventh foster child that arrived at our door was a nine-year-old little girl. Her brokenness appealed to mine, and I understood how she felt because of my own journey. Her trauma was intense, and she needed a mom who knew how to fight against the unseen lies and deceit. We learned that her birthday was within a week of my hysterectomy. When I had lost hope of having my own little girl, I had no idea that this sweet girl was being born at the very same time.
Selena drew rainbows on everything. I truly believe that God was revealing His promises to her and us. We called her our Rainbow Princess, and my faith grew a little deeper. Our stories collided- she needed me, and I needed her. While the thorn is still in my flesh, and the void reminds me of where the heart of my child is, God sent his promise through a little girl- a little princess for us to love and nurture while showing her His plan for her life.
Conclusion on November 4, 2020